September 5, 2011

It finally happened. We reached the proper South, the gun wielding, deep fried everything, God fearing South. But despite it being all of these things, it is also, so very pretty – Natchez especially.

A little about Natchez, it used to be the filthy rich. Like have a maid just to clean out your ear wax rich. Home of the wealthiest cotton plantations, the wealthy couldn’t spend their money quick enough. Instead of buying cars, drugs and private jets, they put their cash into their homes. And what homes they made – they’re breathtakingly grand. Everyone in Natchez is so proud of their town, most houses, including our favourite Longwood, have been restored to their original grandeur and are open to the public with volunteers giving historical tours. When you walk down the street, a lot of homes still have their original gas lamps burning at the front. There’s nowhere else like it.

We stayed in a restored Antebellum home turned B&B we’d found online. As soon as we walked in the door, we were bitch slapped with that thing they call southern hospitality. Would we like fresh, homemade ice tea? Sure. Homemade Bourbon and chocolate cookies? Why yes, I’ll take two. And the breakfast, WOAH. We ate our three course breakfast on French china from the 1800s in the house’s original dining room. I’m going to give breakfast a little paragraph breakdown, that’s how good it was.


Eggs benedict with homemade muffins

Crème brûlée french toast

Fruit salad

Banana and walnut muffins (homemade)



Egg and mushroom  soufflé with the crispiest bacon in the world and sausages

A pancake with caramalised banana and a mascarpone and ricotta filling

Fruit salad

Banana and Walnut muffins

Croissants (these were not eaten)

SERIOUSLY. These Southerners know food. And they’ve been programmed to feed you until you want to take a break and have a vom so you can fit more in. You may be pleased to know, we are no longer going around viewing every meal as a challenge. Finishing meals is no longer mandatory for Team Vanessa and Luke. I can’t go any further without talking about our breakfast conversation yesterday. So somewhere in between the eggs and the french toast, we got onto the topic of the London riots. The owner, was complaining about the lack of action from the police. His words were, and I’m quoting directly; ‘they should have put a bullet in their (the looters) heads, that never would have happened here’. No shit it wouldn’t, BECAUSE YOU’RE ALL CRAZY. The conversation then went on further, about home invaders and if anyone came into his home, he’d shoot them, no questions asked. WHAT THE FUCK, this guy, who has made the most amazing eggs benedict is a lunatic. The other American couple at the table (from close to Natchez) were just nodding their heads going ‘uh huh, yes ma’am’. This guy, the owner, was the oddest mix of right winged, patriotic, fuck yea America who also happened to be gay, loved cooking, history and art. It was so, so weird. And I guess that sums up Natchez, crazy beautiful.