Hot damn! Hot springs!

September 21, 2011

On our way from Death Valley to Yosemite, we stopped in a little place called Bishop to break up the drive. We kind of assumed it would be a nothing stopover, but we were wrong. Not only was it a beautiful town set in the Sierra Nevada mountains, it was also the place where our love for hot springs was born. I had read that there were hot springs in the area, so we asked the couple we were staying with to give us a few recommendations. Armed with a post-it note holding a pencil drawn map, we set off for our first hot spring experience. Nicknamed Hilltop Tub, the name didn’t do it justice. We had an unspoiled, 360 view of mountain ranges while sitting in a stone lined, naturally filled and heated spring in the middle of nowhere. We had the hot spring to ourselves for about 4 minutes when we saw another car in the distance. We joked about what would happen if the new people asked if we minded if they hopped in naked. Well, that happened, except the guy didn’t ask. When the couple arrived, the woman hopped in wearing her bather, so I assumed the guy would too. WRONG. I looked up to say hi to the man and instead said hi to his ass crack. And the thing was, he didn’t stay under the water, he kept on getting up. And when someone gets up, you automatically look up. IT’S NATURAL. So while we were having a banal conversation about hiking and California, he was getting up and down, all the while my brain is screaming, ‘DO NOT LOOK AT THIS REALLY UNATTRACTIVE MAN’S PENIS’. The really good thing about this whole experience (other than seeing Luke try and not look at another man’s cock) was that he told us about another hot spring to check out on our way to Lake Tahoe.

Let us fast forward to Travertine Hot Springs. Now, because this place was hard to find, we stopped at both an information centre and the Ranger’s office. Again armed with a hand drawn map, we found the hot springs and with the naked man’s insider advice, even knew to not stop at the first spring and look a bit hard for the other, better ones. So we did. Amazed, we found a cluster of rocks with water dripping into different pools. As I walked around to check out how many there were, I caught a couple mid way through having sex…in one of the springs. It was like some kind of weird German porn. After I had looked at them and laughed, I bobbed my head back down, still laughing while hand gesturing to Luke about what I’d seen. We tried going into the furthest away springs from the couple but realised they were hotter than hell. We then worked out that the springs went from boiling hot to bath hot, and the bath hot one was the one the couple had been in. Obviously this is the one Luke went into first.

After some quality time in the sperm infested waters, we saw there were more, perhaps cleaner springs about 50 metres away. Despite there being an old guy in there who was probably naked, we went ahead and jumped in, Luke perhaps too eagerly. We got to talking to the man and his wife and it was seriously delightful. And I say this without any form of sarcasm. It was truly great, chatting with them while watching a storm come over the valley in a hole of muddy water in the ground. It was seriously such a wonderful moment.