August 29, 2011

We took to Chicago like a dog loves licking its balls. The city has definitely got an understated and old school cool about it. When you walk around downtown you can totally imagine John Dillinger terrorising the streets back in the day. Oh, and the architecture is phenomenal. So much so, when it came to looking through our photos, 90% of them were of the same buildings at different angles. Woah, WE KNOW HOW TO HAVE FUN. Wooo. In case you read this blog and ever think, hey this really lacks educational value, I’ll tell you how Chicago came about. Meaning ‘onion/stinky swamp’ in Native American, Chicago was originally a total hole. That was until a big fire wiped it all out and the young and up and coming architects of America realised they could do something amazing with this blank canvas of a city. Here ends the lesson.

So now I’m going to do the same kind of category based recap for Chicago. Dang, we had fun.


Second City: we went to a sketch show with improv at the end. The improv at the end made my face hurt from laughter. There’s something about pedophilia innuendo that really tickles me.

FATTIES: WOW. WOW. WOW. We saw so many fat people in Chicago. The highlight was on the subway when this girl came and wedged herself in the seat in front of us. I’m not even sure if her ass touched the bottom of the seat. She was wider than Luke and I sitting side by side and as fat as another two/two and a half Luke and Vanessa’s sitting on our laps. There’s something so romantic holding hands behind a woman who just ate a bus full of little children.

Music Box: this was an old time movie theatre with its original seats and kitch red velvet curtains. We were loving it until we realised we were watching the wrong movie and the one we wanted was in the shitter, smaller movie theatre next door.

The Green Mill: you know when you walk in the door somewhere and are given a list of rules like ‘no talking when the music is on’ that it must be a pretty serious music venue. Home to some of the best jazz in Chicago, we watched an eight year old jam on the bongos with the experimental jazz group on stage. Talk about feeling untalented.

The ballet: We saw a celebration of dance event at the Millennium Park stage (amazing, amazing venue as we also saw Jazz there the night before). I couldn’t believe that we were watching world class dance companies that I’d been wanting to see for years, and for FREE. While I was dizzy with happiness, Luke had his eyes closed for a majority of it, thinking that I wouldn’t notice as he’d open them at the end when everyone was applauding. Tricky, but not tricky enough.


Big Star: we may have eaten tacos there for lunch and then gone back again for dinner. We may, or we may not have, I’ll let you decide.

Grahamwich: tuna, pineapple, soy, wasabi peas, all in a sandwich? Some say yuck, I say, get me another one.

Lula’s at Logan Square: hello best granola in the world. It was great eating you.

Jam at Wicker Park: french toast infused with vanilla french custard = BREAKFAST DESSERT! We also may have gone there another time and had a pulled pork, egg, watermelon and cheese sandwich as well as blueberry pankcakes. It might sound gross to you, but then again so does jam and peanut butter and we all know that’s food harmony.

Hot Doug’s: we caught two buses to get there to find out there was a two hour wait. Even we don’t line up two hours for a hot dog. If you do go there, go early and during the week.


The Bean: Luke kept on asking me if I was flicking the bean. Sometimes with him, I just nod my head and don’t really listen. Sometimes I say ‘mmm’. This was not the time to do it.

Bikes: we hired cruiser bikes along North Shore drive and got yet another amazing view and a hundred photos of the Chicago skyline. Here’s another fact, Lake Michigan has just been upgraded from toxic water to polluted. Yay for the people swimming in there.


Chicago was amazing. We both loved it and filled every second there with doing stuff. The people were so friendly, everyone wants you to see the best of their city, so they’ll go out of their way to tell you about great things to do. Thanks newspaper guy. Thanks guy with the fake tan in Whole Foods. Thanks waiter at Jam who didn’t remember us when we came back.